Jokes

Unforgettably stupid homor Funny and Jokes

They Started Hanging Out After The Pole Melted

Seems like gas prices may not be the only thing on the rise thanks to global warming.

Polar Bears Guarding An Ice Machine

Sharks Looking Foward To Global Warming

I suppose the cost of real estate in the ocean will be going up soon, that’s good news for predators apparently.

Good news! At the current rate of global warming we should be able to just swim over there and eat him in under five years!

Gun Control

I don’t understand why they picked my house to burglarize?

A sign you’ll never see, a gun free family.

Yes sir, I do have a permit to keep and bear arms.

Moses and Jesus Playing Golf

It was a beautiful, sunny Sunday afternoon while Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf. On the first tee-box, Moses pulls out his driver and blisters a shot up the right side of the fairway, rolling fast towards a water hazard. Moses quickly raised his club, parting the water while his ball rolls through to the other side safely.

A Tough Golf Shot

Bill was playing golf one afternoon with his wife, Emma, and hit a nasty slice off the second tee – landing in an impossible lie in front of the greenkeeper’s shed. Being helpful, his wife suggested “No need to take a penalty shot darling, just open both the front and back doors and push the tractor out. Then, you’ll can hit hit it straight through the shed with a 3 iron.”

NASCAR Career Summary For Dale Jr

A man walks into a sports bar with his dog. A NASCAR Sprint Cup race is on a TV. He sits down and asks how Dale Earnhardt Jr. is doing. The bartender says “Dale Jr is in 35th, not doing so well”. The man’s dog jumps up, and runs around
the barstool 35 times.

Vasectomy Jokes

As I sit here I’m contemplating having a vasectomy, you know… the “removing” of your manhood. You know, it looks like a relatively simple procedure, heck I even asked if they had a do-it-yourself kit (true story). Afterall, $950 bucks for a 15 minute snip-snip is kinda excessive. At any rate, I won’t be cutting on my balls anytime soon – but I do have some vasectomy jokes (more of a timeline of events) if you’re in the same mood I am. We’ll call him “Bill” and this is his story.

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